Imagine you are chatting with your friends online, do you expect that the conversation will be read and examined by others after some time? It is not natural for anyone to expect this but this is actually the situation that many children are facing. Nowadays, some parents would like to check their children’s mobile phone text messages, e-mails and online chat records without any permission from their children. This “habit” shows no respect or trust on the children and causes argument in families, and should not be continued.
Many parents do the checking in the name of parental supervision, but the fact is that they are infringing on their children’s privacy instead of respecting them. Everyone has secrets and children should have the right to choose what to be kept secret. Therefore, checking their mobile phone text messages etc. to know their secrets shows a lack of respect on the children and their rights. Children are individuals. They can be taught and inculcated by teachers and parents, but it is not a must for them to be controlled by adults. However, such checking give them a feeling that they are controlled, which must arouse their discontent and cause arguments in families.
The checking also shows no trust on the children. Parents may be worried that their children are doing bad things or having some immoral behaviour, so they are very ‘active’ and insistent on supervising their children. While this is totally understandable, continuous checking on the children through every possible means reveals the lack of trust on their children. Inevitably, the relationship between children and parents will then be destroyed.
While parents show no trust on children, the checking also stops children from trusting their parents. They know that they are pried and everything they do will be judged by their parents. How can a friendly relationship and mutual trust be built up under this situation? When trust does not exist, children will try their best to hide things from their parents. The parents, in return, will face even more difficulties to supervise their children. There is also no way to check their text messages, e-mails or chat records since they are all locked with passwords or deleted.
Certainly, parental supervision is needed when a child is growing up and it is absolutely right for parents to try to know about their children’s behavior more, but prying is never a proper way. In fact, if there is enough communication between parents and children, they can already understand each other more. Parents, who are experienced adults, can guess whether their children are obedient or not from the communication, since the children’s character, moral values and thoughts can be reflected gradually. Of course, parents are busy working, but why do they bother to check their children’s e-mails instead of spending the time and effort on doing some talking with their beloved children? Nowadays, most of the fathers only spend 5 minutes to get along with their children everyday. This is obviously insufficient. Before doing this checking, parents should think about communication first.
Moreover, if the parents think carefully, they will find that they are not just infringing on the privacy of their own children, but also the privacy of those who talk with their children through text messages or the internet. The messages and e-mails must not only be about their children, so the parents will get to know many secrets of their children’s friends. This is an unacceptable infringement on people’s privacy.
Parents who care about their children are very respectable and worth appreciating. Nevertheless, it is time for parents to use a wiser method in loving their children. Communicating, rather than prying or checking, is the way to bring about not only fewer quarrels, but also more respect and trust.