Dear Editor,
I am writing to share my view towards whether it is better to be an only child than one with siblings. These days, owing to the dwindling birthrate in the city, many of the new generation are the only child of their families while some in developing countries are having a dozen of siblings. Seemingly, having siblings can be both a fascinating idea and also an everlasting nightmare.
To begin with, siblings may mean rivals and competitors to some. Children with siblings have to share the TVs, lavatories, bedrooms and many other resources with their brothers and sisters. Often they end up quarreling or fighting as they scramble for the remote controls. To make them more miserable, pathetic ones have to “inherit” the old books and used clothes from his elder brothers or sisters. Not only do they have to share concrete resources with others, they can only get a fraction of their parents’ affection and attention, when the only child can have an undivided portion by occupying the parents’ leisure time fully. After surviving from a torturous day working in cubicles, breadwinners can barely manage to care about one of their children’s chores. Inevitably, parents spare little time and patience for their children if not suffocated from heavy workload. In short, being the only child may ensure better care and a more affluent life without siblings stepping into one’s way.
To the children’s grievances, the competition of resources from siblings also results in fewer activities. When other siblings enjoy the slightest privilege granted by the parents, one would treat it as the utmost unfairness. There is a tendency for parents to organize less family activities, so as to be “fair”, to cut down on expenses and avoid the devastating nightmare taking care of a bunch of children especially when many are leading a life from hand to mouth with stunning expense on children.
Added to this, having siblings appears to compound teenagers’ pressure. Peer pressure is serious among siblings, thanks to the picky parents who often compare apple to orange unconsciously. Many are desperate when they realize by no means can they out perform their siblings, who are exemplary students and the cream of the crop. This lowers their self-esteem. As for the elder ones, the parents often point an accusing finger at them when their little brothers and sisters also misbehave. Siblings often quarrel among themselves over small conflicts, which acts as an additional source of vexation. Much pressure is exerted on them while being the only child seems to be the only way to free children from those problems.
Nonetheless, every coin has two sides. Having siblings can also be a blessing, viewed from other aspects.
In the first place, having siblings helps one adapt to the outside world. Through compromising and putting up with others instead of enjoying all resources solely, the child learn to care about other’s needs, attain better interactive skills to become more easy-going. These qualities can only be cultivated via living with rivalries, going over countless quarrels and hindrances. On the surface, joining team activities can redress the problem. However, having siblings require life-long tolerance and hypocrisy won’t do. Moreover, children are motivated to improve themselves with peer pressure, of which only child often lack, so to get prepared for the competitive world. Elder siblings can develop a sense of responsibility, another essential quality, by shouldering the responsibility of taking care of young sisters and brothers. All these qualities cannot be easily instilled into an only child, who is more vulnerable to the risk of being spoilt.
Secondly, it might be noted that younger siblings can take advantage of the benefit hindsight. Parents would become more experienced to comprehend their children’s need better after having the elder one as a guinea pig. After reviewing the lessons learnt by the elder brother, parents would become more skillful at counseling and accompanying their children to walk through different stages of life, such as promoting to secondary education and confronting public exams. Parents can also make prompt response to prevent the children from going astray and help them get a head start with appropriate assistance.
In addition, siblings can be good playmates, tutors and caretakers. It is biased to portray them simply as competitors or nightmares. For example, with siblings, there are always persons whom he or she may turn to when getting into deadlock with their friends, being filled with worries and grief, or getting stuck in a Mathematics question. One would feel jubilant even though his siblings fail to curb the problems. By contrast, one being an only child may feel lonely and more panicky in face of public exams, without the peer support from siblings in the family. It is of grave sorrow for one to forget about the delightful times one had with his or her siblings. In retrospect, many find the conflicts with siblings during childhood memorable, fun and worth recalling.
Last but not least, one can work in tandem with his or her siblings to take care of their parents in the future. Due to the aging population with the number of senior citizens keep escalating, it is no easy task for teenagers nowadays to bear the weight of the elderly in foreseeable future. It might be unbearable for an only child to sustain his parents and kids solely.
Whether it is more favourable to be an only child or with siblings really hinges on our attitudes. When one has to share different resources with his siblings, in return he learns to compromise with others to survive from fierce competitions in the outside world; when one inherits his siblings’ second–hand books and articles of clothing, one also learns from the elder brothers’ or sisters’ experiences. Peer pressure may be a source of vexation and also motivation, especially when few teenagers would study out of their own accords. If we want the joy from playing with our siblings, we should be prepared for quarrels on the way.
As an optimist, I would rather be one with siblings than an only child. I believe having siblings would enrich my life, making it even more well–splendored, in contempt of the associated setbacks and hardship on the way of getting along with my siblings. No matter whether we have siblings or not, we should embrace our future and lead purpose-driven lives.
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong