‘Hey Chris, do you want to join this public speaking competition together? I heard your New Year resolution was to be able to speak confidently in front of a huge crowd, so why not get some practice to brush up your skills and challenge yourself?’
I looked up to find Patrick, my best friend, staring at me expectantly, with a sheet of paper that I presumed to be the competitions application form in his hand.
‘Patrick, I’ve told you before that New Year resolutions are just for fun. Don’t take everything so seriously.’
‘Are you sure? I really think you should try something new. Apparently, people fear public speaking more than death. I read this article in the South China Morning Post not so long ago that…’
‘Alright, alright, sign me up for it.’ I interrupted, knowing that Patrick could go on forever if I didn’t agree to join the competition. Hearing me give my consent, he smiled triumphantly and said, ‘Well, you’d better start preparing now, because the contest is in two months! You made the right choice, Chris!’ With the smug grin still on his face, he sauntered out of the room.
I leaned back against my chair and instantly regretted my decision. Public speaking was my biggest fear. Just thinking about all those eyes staring back at me when I was on the stage presenting my speech brought a chill to my spine! I remember my one and only experience in public speaking being such a disaster that my brother still teased me for it. I was speaking at my childhood friend’s birthday party, and I got so nervous that I stumbled over myself while walking on the stage and stuttered throughout my whole speech. The worst thing was hearing giggles and jeers from my other classmates every time my words got jumbled. The more they laughed, the more anxious I got, and I ended up bursting into tears in front of everyone halfway through my speech! It was so traumatizing for me that I never tried public speaking again. No way! Now that I’d unwittingly joined a public speaking competition, I couldn’t help but mentally kick myself for being SO stupid.
However, the voice of my competitive side kept saying that public speaking was no big deal and was nothing to be afraid of. In fact, failing at such an epic scale the last time I tried public speaking made my competitive side even more determined to overcome this fear. I wanted to do well, as much as I knew how terrible I was, so after taking a deep breath, I took out the newspaper of the day and began to read, hoping to gain inspiration as to what I was going to speak about in the contest.
After much consideration, I decided to go for the Syrian refugee crisis, which was a huge risk for me because I didn’t know much about it. I just thought it was a serious humanitarian issue and would be an interesting theme to the judges. When I got home that night, I immediately turned on my computer and started doing research. Soon, I found myself disgusted but at the same time intrigued by the issue. Disgusted because it was brutal, but intrigued because I realized that there was so much of the world that I did not know. I researched well into midnight, and when I got to school the next day, Patrick could only gape at the dark circles underneath my eyes.
‘What on Earth have you been up to?’ he asked with raised eyebrows. ‘I’ve NEVER seen you this tired before! Don’t you sleep at sharp 10:30 p.m. every night?’
‘I got too absorbed in researching on my public speaking topic and lost track of time.’ I replied with a yawn.
Patrick only shook his head. ‘Relax; it’s just a competition, not your DSEs. You don’t need to work THAT hard,’ he responded with a bemused smile.
After 3 days of the same routine (me researching well into midnight and Patrick advising me half-teasingly and half-admonishingly to relax), I finally got around to writing my speech. Needless to say, the first draft was absolutely horrific, and I kept refining it until I thought it didn’t look like a disaster in the making. Then, I approached John, the one with the best English in my class, and timidly asked him if he could proofread the speech for me. I’ve never actually talked to John before because I thought he was really scary and just totally out of my league with his out-of-the-World English level. It took Patrick 20 minutes to convince me to just give John my work and an extra 10 minutes for me to muster up enough courage to walk towards John’s direction. I felt somewhat proud of myself for being brave enough to ask John, while Patrick just thought the entire thing was unnecessary and that I was working too hard.
When I got back my speech, I went straight into practising in my delivery. I googled ways to be a better public speaker, and decided to start by talking to myself in the mirror. I did it during recess at school and while it was embarrassing in the beginning because everyone would cast sideway glances at me like I was crazy, I gradually stopped caring. Patrick, who was a gifted speaker, gave me some advice on how to make my posture less awkward and how to keep my voice from wavering due to my nerves. I practiced speaking whenever I could, and seeing that I was truly determined to do well in the public speaking competition, Patrick stopped making fun of me and my ‘unnecessary’ efforts. I even made him stay after school in the classroom to help me rehearse and give me feedback on my performances. Of course, I stuttered a lot, my body shook from anxiety and nerves, and I always forgot my lines because I was simply too scared, but as I kept pressing on, I discovered that I was steadily improving. At first, my face would turn beetroot-red due to my embarrassment, and I would sweat profusely even with the air conditioner at full force and Patrick shivering in his cardigan. However, as time progressed, I stopped blushing and no longer perspired as much.
I practiced day and night, at school and at home, and by the time the two months passed, I was proficient at speaking. Even Patrick had to acknowledge my efforts and grudgingly admit that I was doing a decent job, at least when compared to the shaky and scared me two months before. Of course, I did not unwind and continued to rehearse. After all, practice makes perfect, right?
Soon enough, it was the competition day. Patrick and I arrived at the hall in which the contest was going to be held. I felt my heartbeat accelerate and began to shake because being in the actual venue was truly terrifying. Patrick patted my back encouragingly and said, ‘It’s fine, don’t worry. I daresay that you worked harder than any contestant here in this room! You’ll do just fine.’
My name was called not long after, and after taking a deep breath, I walked on the stage. I began well, but suddenly, halfway through, my speech disappeared from my mind. I paused, trying to recall my memory, but it remained blank. I started panicking, and the more I panicked, the more I forgot. I stood for a good 20 seconds, but my mind would not co-operate with me and I could not summon the speech I worked so hard on. I left the stage, completely disappointed and dejected. I did not listen to any of the speeches after that, because all I could think of was how my two months of extremely hard work just went down the drain with my lackluster performance.
The results were announced, and not surprisingly, Patrick won. After all, he was a gifted speaker. On the way home, however, Patrick did the most unexpected and surprising thing. He handed his award, a beautiful crystal, to me. I stared at him, dumbfounded.
‘You deserve it more than I do. You worked so much harder!’
I wouldn’t take the award, but he forced it into my hand. All I could say to him, was ‘thank you’.
No wonder he was my best friend.