Hey Chris,
How are you? Are you having an enjoyable summer vacation? Well, I bet you are! Please send my regards to Uncle and Auntie. I haven’t seen them for years! Anyway, do you still remember I told you that I went for an audition for a major role in Romeo and Juliet? Guess what? I was rejected and had no chance of being a beautiful Juliet. Don’t feel sad for me. I’ve learnt a meaningful lesson from the audition. Let me tell you what happened in the audition first.
The audition started in the morning at a theatre. I was amazed by how crowded the theatre was. The candidates all shared the same purpose as I – taking a major role in Romeo and Juliet. I saw some of the candidates practicing different facial expressions. They looked very professional when compared with me. All of a sudden, the administrator asked us to pick a random number and assigned us to sit according to the numbers. I was startled after picking the number, because I was the first one to stand on the stage. This was totally different from the Drama Club in school. I thought I was a nobody among all the candidates, though I was the Queen of the Drama Club in school.
When I was struggling whether to leave the theatre, the director came and sat down. He was a very fat man with a beard. He looked very serious and said, ‘Miss Lee, can you please perform how grateful Juliet was when she saw Romeo?’ I said ‘Okay’ swiftly.
Although I had prepared for the audition, my hands kept on shaking violently, as that was my first audition. I was so nervous that I couldn’t do anything but stood on the stage blankly. I was speechless at that time, even though I knew I should have uttered something. The next second, I broke into tears. When the director saw me crying on the stage without any reasons, he stood up unpleasantly and said, ‘Miss Lee, I’ve no idea about your performance. I guess you may need more training. What I see in your performance is NERVES, NERVES and NERVES. This is unacceptable for a professional actress! Anyway, thanks for your coming. You can leave now!’ I knew that I was rejected right away. I even didn’t say thanks to him but kept on crying when leaving the theatre.
His words pierced my heart completely, but he was right. I wasn’t professional enough, and that was the prime reason why I was rejected. I was too nervous during the audition. When I saw how brilliant others were, I thought I was nothing, despite the fact that I had prepared well for it. I should have stayed calm. Also, it was terrible to cry in front of the director. It indicated that I was lacking in confidence. If I wasn’t confident enough, how could I take the major role like Juliet? This was totally impossible! Though this was the first time I went for an audition, there was no reason why I had to panic in front of the director. I should have hidden my anxiety, but unfortunately, I didn’t have this sense at all. And that was also the main reason why I was rejected.
Although it was a bitter lesson for me, I felt thankful about the whole experience. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not hiding my sadness. What I tell you is indeed my true feeling. There’s no doubt that I didn’t devote much effort to performing the best I could, but I’ve known more about myself because of this experience. Through the experience, I’ve realized that panic can help nothing, but get me in great trouble. It’ll only affect my performance! Also, I should believe in myself more. It’s undoubtedly true that there are many potential actresses, but I shouldn’t look down on myself, thinking that I’m inferior. I should remember how I love acting so much, but during the audition, I totally forgot my passion for it. It was disappointing that I didn’t try my utmost to show off my talents, but this experience has given me a valuable lesson – believe in myself.
So don’t worry about me! It won’t discourage me from being a professional actress. This bitter lesson is only a hiccup to me. And I don’t see this as a failure, because I eventually know what my biggest weakness is. I promise you that I’ll NEVER feel nervous, anxious, panicky and the like anymore! I won’t miss any chances to show my inherent potential to the audience, especially the directors! I’m full of energy right now and I’m going to rock the business!!
I’m going to practise my acting now. Talk to you later! Write back as soon as possible! Enjoy your days in Canada.
Yours,
Pat