Dear Alex
I’m really under pressure academically, and it’s damaging my relationship with my mother, as I honestly have no time to do household chares, or spend quality with her. The only time we talk is when we are bickering about why I don’t do anything apart from ‘work’. I am scared our relationship is going nowhere and getting worse by that day. I love my mum – how do I fix this?
Family ties
Dear Family ties,
I notice that your relationship with your mother is getting worse because the academic problem is very common in Hong Kong, especially for teenagers.
In fact many students in developed Asian countries such as Japan, South Korea and Singapore experience the same problem. The parents are very concerned about their children’s academic results because the environment is highly competitive. The students have to compete for the admission to universities. Meanwhile, schools also think that academic achievement is of the highest priority.
Time management, prioritization and communication are very important. You must manage your time properly and plan your work carefully. You are advised to make a timetable and stick to it.
You also need to prioritise your tasks. You need to do the important tasks first and give up the less important ones. For example, if you want to movie, you need to give up watching TV or chatting with friends. If you want to play computer games, you need to play less with your friends. Of course communication with your mum is your top priority.
You must talk to your mother so that she can understand your difficulties including lots of homework, quizzes, dictations, test, exams and extracurricular activities. Family relationship is the most important. And you need to tell her you love her very much. Besides, helping your mother to do the homework is your responsibility.
I hope my advice is useful to you. I welcome you to write to me again if you need further help.
Cheers,
Alex