Recently, a friend of mine had joined a Facebook event named Let’s Suicide. A few days ago, he jumped from his apartment. The tragedy received widespread media coverage and set alarm bells ringing over the stress faced by youngsters.
For many years teen suicide has been a taboo subject in the community. As a result there is not enough support and counselling for troubled youngsters who are at risk of suicide. While the reasons why youngsters commit suicide are complex and varied, there is one thing in common, having a lot of stress. So why are teenagers so stressed?
People are used to drawing support and comfort from their family. However, ironically, family is often one of the main sources of stress. Parents are always so nervous about their kids’ academic results and their future that they enrol them in too many tutorial classes and activities after school. Children are deprived of their leisure time, which is much needed for their healthy development. To make things worse, some parents often compare their kids with their top-notch peers. When their kids get poor academic results, they give derogatory comments. It really hurts when parents tell their children that they will never amount to anything.
Peer relation is another important source of stress among teenagers. As children reach the teenage years, they begin to spend more and more time with friends, and less time with their family. Peer recognition is vital to teenagers. Teenagers will get depressed if they cannot fit in with their classmates. And when a teen becomes a victim of bullying, he or she may have mood swings, low self-esteem and negative behaviours. Nowadays teens can also get cyber-bullied. The emotional trauma that results from continuously receiving harassing e-mails can be as devastating as physical trauma.
Stress can come also from love affairs. Puberty by itself can be emotionally stressful with all of the changes accompanying “growing up”. When the inexperienced teens start to date and things don’t go well, they get even more stressed. Sometimes the teens just do not know how to let go of a partner when an intimate relation breaks down and poorly, they become overwhelmed with grief.
Stress is detrimental to us. My primary school teacher once told me that if one develops more interests and becomes absorbed in more activities, one can do away with stress. I found this advice very useful. I now often play basketball with my classmates. I have also joined the school choir. I can make friends and fit in with my classmates much more easily as we have common hobbies. Some of them have become my best friends and we always share our joy and misery with one another.
Having frequent chats with parents is also a practical method to deal with stress. Many students find it difficult to communicate with their parents. So was I in my Primary School years. In F.1, I fancied to join scout activities. My parents were initially reluctant to let me do so,fearing if my study would be affected. I felt very frustrated and spent a whole evening chatting with them, sharing my goal of becoming a patrol leader sincerely and frankly, and to my surprise, they both agreed not to intervene my plans. I believe that if we have more frequent chats with our parents, we can have a better understanding of the expectations of each other and have fewer conflicts and hence less stress.
Another thing that I always do whenever I feel stressed is to go to the countryside. I feel so relaxed when I leave the concrete jungle and breathe fresh air in the countryside. Every time I try to recognise the sounds made by the insects and birds and approach the animals that I seldom see in the city, I simply enjoy the sense of peace and serenity. It is very relaxing indeed.
Stress is part of our life, whether you like it or not. It is a pity that some teenagers have taken their own life when they fail to overcome their stress. To deal with stress positively, I suggest everyone try my methods of developing more interests, having frequent chats with parents and going to the countryside. They do work!